The Pain of Losing a Loved One

There are a lot of ways to recover from a depression like losing a loved one. Below are proven ways that I did when I lost my mother way back in 2012. It was an unexpected event and the turning point in my life as a working mom of two girls, who depended so much on her to raise them.

When I was a first-time mom, I would ask her anything, anytime and anywhere about the woes of a mother. The anxieties and the worries I have will go away knowing that she will always be there whenever I need her.  She was there when I needed someone to babysit my kids just so I can work and I felt comfortable knowing that my kids are well taken cared of while I was away.

For five years, being a mom was such a breeze when she was there, so when I lost her I felt like heaven and earth have fallen upon me. I didn’t know how to recover.  Somehow I did it I guess, but it’s because I have to.

Here are ways that might help you recover from your loss too!

Feeling Depressed? Find a hobby

My husband bought an Xbox that time when he went back from UAE to console me from my feeling of depression. Xbox is a video game where you can have an actual feel of the game by moving your body like sports such as bowling, table tennis, volleyball, soccer, biking, running etc. It is very enjoyable and relaxing. it feels like all the stress inside me is coming out of my system.  Oh, well you can also do the actual physical game which is way better.

Your hobby may not have to be very expensive. You can read books that interest you. I came across a financial literacy book in my attempt to find a good book to read and now, I am into stock market.

It will also be more beneficial to you if you can set-up a new business to distract you from the shock of losing a loved one. Owning and running your own business can be satisfying. It is also more fulfilling than working for someone else. Back then, I have my t-shirt printing business.

Have Someone Beside You

Having someone to talk to in these trying time will help you unburden the pains of losing a loved one. Whether it be a friend, a relative or a partner in life, will be a big help.

I was lucky to have my husband with me during the time when I faced that ordeal. I don’t know if I have gone through it without him. I told him how much I appreciate him for being there when I needed him most and for giving me more courage to move on.

Write Down Your Heartaches

Losing a loved one would give you such feeling of agony. I don’t know why but as a writer, I believe that writing down what you feel would help. Even if you are not good at it, just do it. You can write poems, articles, a diary or journal of what you feel. You will find out one day how those notes have helped you ease the pain.

According to research, writing about stressful events helps you come to terms with them. It acts as a stress management tool, thus reducing the impact of the event on your physical health.

When Losing a Loved One, Always Turn to GOD

When all things fail, only GOD can make it well.  When I was at the lowest point of my life, I had so many questions in my mind like, “Why her? Why my mom? Why so soon?” She was still young then at only 55 years old. I tried to read the Bible and then I found the answers why.

God wants us to depend on Him, not on anyone else. It’s not that God takes everyone we depended on, it’s just that He wants us to trust in HIM with all our heart, mind, and soul. That time my faith in Him grew and I grew closer to Him. I also learned to pray more often and surrender everything to Him.

As it is written in  Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I thank GOD for all the people  He made as instruments to make me strong when I lose a loved one. It was hard, I had to go through many things like a roller coaster ride. There are times when I felt good and I handled my grief well but most of the time, I break down and feel the pain all at once.

Only accepting the situation and having the courage to face it can lead you to get over it. Although the pain is still there, at least I have learned to tolerate it and divert my time and effort to God and all other things not just to dwell in my grief. With God, I believe everything will be better.